Why am I so honest about my past??

Quiana aka to my family and close friends I’m Kiki, to my business colleagues and associates I’m Q. When its all said and done I am me.

Why talk about my past struggles? Why not just bask at where I’m at now in life? Why not talk about my past struggles? Why not tell the truth. There was a time when myself and my children ate ramen or bologna sandwiches daily for lunch, we ate chicken every night for dinner. There were times when I didn’t know where our next meal was coming from.

A single mom 5 kids, at the time they told me I made $130 too much for food stamps. $130 seriously? Said if I quit my “job” because at the time I only made $38,500 a year…..instead of her saying my career I still remember the woman telling me my job. She specifically said if I quit my job she could help me get section 8, food stamps, and child care. I remember walking away devastated. Thinking to myself all I need is some help with food, that’s it. I had begged and borrowed from just about everyone I knew. Yet I knew I couldn’t give up.

I remember sitting in my room crying on Christmas because I literally only had enough money to buy my kids about 2 gifts a piece, totaling to about $30 per kid. I remember feeling like such a failure. I remember only having a hand full of people that believed in me, a handful of people that encouraged me me and their motivation at times kept me going. Somehow though God always made a way. He always made it happen.

The reason I speak about my past is because I know what it’s like to wish, pray, grind, and at times it seems like you’re getting no where. I know what it’s like to wonder where your next meal is coming from, and how far can you make $20 stretch. I talk about my past because I want to show a single mother that it’s possible. Please don’t give up, please don’t give in. That hard work is going to pay off, and when it does…..don’t forget to tell your story. You may just be the reason another woman decides to give it her all and not give up.

So why speak of my past? Because it has help shape me into the woman I am. Without my past I wouldn’t be able to remain as humble as I am. I pray that woman from 10 years ago, trying to make $20 stretch, knows we made it and we aren’t stopping now!

Let’s keep it real!

Where to begin? I’m a 38 year old single mother of 5 with a granddaughter. I should probably mention I was married before….right. I mean god forbid people think “omg its a black woman that has 5 kids that has never been married.” Honestly though does it really matter if I were married or not? I also have a full time career that I have worked my ass off for. Yep I said it, ASS. If you get offended easily or if you need to hide behind a filtered mask and seem perfect, and correct every mistake that your human eyes can see…this isn’t the blog for you.

Be vulnerable, feel liberated, say SHIT. Its ok to admit that you fed your children sandwiches, chips, and a fruit juice on more than one occasion this week, because you just simply didn’t have it in you to cook. I promise you it’ll be ok. The world will go on, and your children will be just fine. We can talk about anything you like. I will post, as much as I can, I’m not a celebrity, I don’t have anyone proof reading my blogs and photo shopping my body before I post stuff (though I do know how to use a snap chat filter if needed). I want you to feel empowered…..to just be you, while I’m being me.